Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Taking on Big, Important Issues. Like Daisy Dukes.

Last night I went to a book signing. I wanted to go. I meant to go. I got a little carried away on-line (whaddaya mean, MySpace? I could have been doing research for Very Endangered Animals and children with terminal diseases... stop snickering! I said "could.") when The Funasaurus (who is not normally a book-reading-event-attender-type, but I may have bribed him with favors... of the intimate kind) called up the stairs all sweetly, "When should we leave?"

Let's see.

It's 7:20.

The event is at 7:30.

We live 25 minutes away.

Answer: (here I will do the math for you) 15 FREAKIN' MINUTES AGO!

So we made a mad dash... or, at least, I did, while The Funasaurus took one last bathroom break, looked for his shoes, and tied them in an e-x-c-r-u-c-i-a-t-i-n-g-l-y slow manner. I swear he did it on purpose. (The bribe was to "go with me." I should have specified "on-time arrival.")

I drove in a manner that will teach HIM to take his damn, sweet time.

Relieved for our miraculously accident-free arrival, we walked in only 10 minutes late, to find that things had not started, yet.

We sat next to some of my co-workers who also attended. (side note: Herr MWOTH was there, but sat away from any of the rest of us. I did not even feel bad for him. What does it say about your management technique, when none of your employees or coworkers will sit near you and instead fantasize about lobbing new, hardbound editions of pretty books at the back of your [prematurely graying] head?)

That was not nice.

Maybe I need to hop on that research for Very Endangered Animals and win back a little karma. Or fight the good fight, and spread the good word about THIS book, which is a very excellent and easy-to-read discussion about gun control. The author is totally fine with everyday, responsible people owning guns, but he believes in closing gun show loopholes. As in, terrorists should really not be able to walk in to a gun show in Anytown, USA (there are over 4,000 held annually in the U.S.) and buy himself a whole arsenal THAT SAME DAY. What's wrong with a waiting period, and proof of integrity? With power comes responsibility, right? I mean, we don't just give out a driver's license to any old Hoo-Ha. We don't get mad if someone who has killed people in a drunk driving accident has his license revoked. We say that's for the best interest of society. Why is owning a gun any different?

I also learned this tidbit:
The Second Amendment, in its entirety says, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

You may notice that the first half of that sentence is often left out in the pro-gun debate. Take that as you will.

Now, I will get off my darn platform, seeing as how princesses are really more fit for gilded thrones than soapboxes.

And in the meantime, if you make a bet with me, be sure to include a time frame, seeing as how I will scare you with my Dukes of Hazzard-like driving prowess to make shit happen MY way, when left unregulated.

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