Thursday, September 07, 2006

My Eventual Kingdom Shall Have Normal Tea

As a princess, I am always on a quest to find the perfect country I might someday like to rule.

No, seriously.

And it has to be in Europe.

According to the best fortune cookie fortune I ever got.

So in the meantime, I am just biding my time here in the U.S., doing things like "working." For a pittance, I might add.

Let's go, Mr. Universe. Please stop toying with me and get on with my fortune, already. Kisses!

I am pretty sure (or, at least, hopeful, but a princess needs to project an air of certainty at all times, especially in crisis... even if it's my own, personal, [some might say, "delusional" but I would call them HATERS] crisis) that that country I am destined to rule is Norway.

How could you not want to go HERE?!

Working in my favor: cute crown prince, about my age: Prince Haakon

Working not-really-so-much-in-my-favor-at-all: He went and got himself married a couple of years ago. To a lovely (Norwegian *sigh* how can I compete?) wife, who produced this horrifically cute kid, Princess Ingrid Alexandra who is so next-in-line to the throne it isn't even funny... and that is a definite dilemma for my eventual reign.

Maybe if things don't work out there, you can keep me in mind, Prince Haakon?

(Just kidding, Funasaurus, baby, if you ever read this blog! I'm not serious. You're my only love.)

((Prince Haakon: call me.))

Meanwhile, I sit here, contemplating my new tea phase (which began this morning) wondering if it's a phase that's going to last very long at all. Because really, folks, I have a mini-science experiment going on, here. I am pushing my cultural tendencies east-ish, putting milk in my tea, all British-esque. I'm not really sure what traditional Norwegian food is. Sour Herring is Swedish. (Thank God.) I like anchovies, is that close enough?


Back to my tea/science experiment.

So we don't happen to carry cream and sugar at the office. We are more the powdered faux-creamer and Splenda-types. So I put some powdered creamer in my tea, and instead of disintegrating all nicely, it's doing weird snowflake-y clump-y things in my tea. I stir it up, it blends in all nicely, as soon as the spinning stops, the chunky snowflake action begins anew. It's somewhat sick and unappetizing, but fun to watch.

That's my life. I'm quite sure cruising among the fjords and attending Nobel Peace Prize ceremonies will be much more invigorating.


Update: My kingdom will also have more signs like THESE. How fantastic is that? It's like it was MADE for me.


crow_soup said...

You can't fake a fjord, they can't be forged. If the throne ever lands in your lap, or less painfully, you land in its lap, could you use a few loyal, royal subjects? Maybe one who might one day lead a coffee rebellion against the opressive tea regime...

meno said...

Was it a lemon or other citrus tea? Those always make the milk (or milk-like powder) curdle and i have to throw it out and start over. YECH.

Marcia said...

a) Get a flickr account. It'll help with your photo uploading. I promise.

b) Can I visit you in your inherited kingdom and stay in the palace?

Tabitha Dial said...

Good luck with the tea experiments and with becoming a princess.