Thursday, September 28, 2006

Cats Are Inherently Royal

So last night The Funasaurus and I made the very rare reference to potential future Princess/Funasaurus-y offspring. It's not a reality, yet, but wild to think about. And made us very snuggly, as we drifted off to sleep.

Well, my cat? Tatum? Had other opinions.

a) We did not snuggle with HIM, like we were supposed to, and
b) isn't he enough child for all of us?

As we lay there on the brink of sleep, there was a lot of unusual, loud, chaotic rustling, and some part of my (already-subconscious) brain was hoping that if I could just fall asleep before the burglars managed to break in, that perhaps I could just sleep through the whole ordeal.

I believe I was only asleep a few minutes when the crinkling got louder and louder. Like, right in my ear, louder. Then something weird and hard and plastic hit me in the face. *Ka-thunk.* Tatum, (if you will remember, the feline extraordinaire at retrieving faux-mice like a little dog) had RETRIEVED MY BIRTH CONTROL PACKAGE from the bathroom and DROPPED IT *SMACK* ON MY HEAD.

If there is a more clear way to say, "The FUCK you'll have kids on MY watch, bee-yatch!" in kitty-speak, I don't know what it could be.

His message clearly conveyed, he sauntered off to the cat tree to survey the bed to make sure no hanky-panky ensued.

* * * * *

This morning as I drove in to work, I got a call from Germany! One of my friend's boyfriends is German, and happens to be home visiting family this month. So I am going to meet up with him for a day and a half before my conference next week, to tour around and do all sorts of Geuuuuuh-mahn things before I have to sit in an insanely large convention hall in a little booth all by myself for five days. Sweet! I believe there are castles in my future. Which, if you think about it, is only natural. Princess training, you know. Maybe this will be the trip where my destiny is finally revealed!

Prince Haakon??? Is that you? Tatum can't reach us out here, my darling. He he he.


meno said...

Great cat story. How did he know?

Mine only brings me socks, never my BC pills, although one time he did corral the Mister's contact case.

katie-q said...

Oh my god, too funny :-) I just laughed here at my desk, now everyone's staring at me, but what else is new!!

Murphy said...

Too bad neither Charlie (my cat) or I could ever FIND my birth control.
Ha ha!!!
LOVE the way you write.....the first thing I want you to give BIRTH to?
The great AMERICAN novel..complete with a red, white and blue ending.