Tuesday, October 24, 2006

How to Make Royalty Plump

Last night we went out to celebrate The Funasaurus' birthday by eating an obscene amount of sushi. It was awesome. If you ever go to Sushi Sasa, I highly recommend the Ultimate Atomic Shrimp. It's neon. And tastes like deep fried bits of crustaceous heaven. mmmmm

Then we got home. I had had a bit much sake, so I promptly fell asleep, feeling deliciously satiated, knowing that the next day I could sleep in just a little more than usual, because Herr MWOTH is out of town on business, so I decided to go ahead and let myself work from home.

Yeah baby.

Except. The alcohol wore off somewhere in there. And around 2:00 a.m. I sat up, wide awake. Tatum (see: minion of hell, also: evil, feline-ified) had stepped on a cable or something over the weekend and our internet hasn't been working, since. That meant I'd have to get my very technologically-inept-self to figure out how to get that working again, if I were to enjoy a day of working from home. Hmmm. Then I fell back asleep. (Fortunately, "sleeping" is my main way of dealing with problems. I get stressed, I sleep. I am always optimistic that problems will resolve themselves while I'm unconscious.)

So we woke up at a leisurely pace (hello there, new massager!) and finally got started on the morning. I wandered into the office as The Funasaurus got in the shower. I was a crazy-lady-freaked-out-mess by the time he got out of the shower. Turns out, Tatum is in cahoots with Comcast who is in cahoots with the Universe, and, well, we all know how that shit goes down.

After unplugging and replugging-in a ridiculous amount of cables, (with one dropped call in there, and I blame them and not myself who maybemighthave unplugged the phone jack from the wall by accident, ooopsie) they're like, "Wait, you're running on Windows 98?"

Me: "Yes."

Them a.k.a. "THE INEPT ASSOHOLES": Oh. We are no longer able to work with that system. You'll have to call Microsoft, here's there 1-800 number."

Me (weeping): Please? Help?

THE INEPT ASSHOLES: Can't. Buh-bye.

Phone: (dial tone): eheheheheheheheh

Me (hiccupping): dialing 1-800-Microsoft.

Microsoft: Busy. All morning.

The Funasaurus: Hey! How's it going?

Me: *SOB*

The Funasaurus: Uh.....

Me: I (hic) can't (sob) work (sniffle) from (hic) home (snort) today (more sobbing.)

The Funasaurus: Oh no! I'm sorry, baby....

The Funasaurus: Finally has to go to work.

Me: Finally faces the fact that I'll have to shower today.

Me: Now at the office. Supremely pissed off.

Oh well. At least it's close to Halloween, and there's a copious amount of candy lying around, in which I can drown my sorrows.

Since HERR MWOTH made my life so uncomfortable, and it was going to make me feel so much better to work from home, and he chose the week before Halloween to be gone, so therefore I got psyched up to stay home for a day, but now I can't, and now there's candy EVERYWHERE:

I blame HERR MWOTH entirely if I get fat.

And maybe Comcast, too.

Anybody want some Laffy Taffy?

3 comments:

MommyHAM said...

One blog visit deserves another, eh?

Thanks for coming by my ramblings - I noted we've a few things in common, lol. ;-)

The atomic shrimp sounds yummy...my daughter would always want to go there, shrimp fiend that she is.

Sorry on the Comcast/Microsoft/Tatum woes - sounds rough. And yes, the robots answering any tech assist calls are appropriately addressed as your suggested moniker for them.

Mama P said...

Ha ha ha ha ha. Careful about what you write about your boss. Dooce did just that and she got fired. But then again, now she works at home, so it could work. (Kidding about the boss thing... I love it)

Summer said...

Sleep and candy fix everything! But, maybe you can get XP off eBay?

Wishing you luck :)