Do you ever feel calmer when your house is cleaner? I hate cleaning, but I hate germs even more, so it gets done, anyway. Although we've been so busy, recently that we fell a little bit behind. And I think, honestly, that it added to my stress levels. Because after The Funasaurus (love you, darling) cleaned the toilets (with much melodramatic gagging and squealing by yours truly) and I vacuumed, and did laundry, and organized the office a bit, and cleaned off our dining room table, I felt this overwhelming sense of CALM. Goodbye, dust, apparently you subconsciously freak me the hell out.
So that was good.
What was even better was Saturday night. Wherein Miss Piggy and Kermit came together in a ghet-to fabulous way. After a lazy Saturday morning, a leisurely walk to Einstein's, and some random crap on T.V. we decided we should, you know, get around to making our costumes. Especially since I had decided I was going to sew The Funasaurus a Very Pink Skirt. (No one, not even evil Wal-Mart, carries size XXL skirts in Pepto Bismol pink. Disappointing.) So I got some fabric and a pattern. And I carried my sewing machine downstairs (if you want to get technical, I had The Funasaurus carry it, it's heavy) and cleared off a large working space, and organized my sewing kit, and opened the pattern package and unfolded it all Martha Stewart-esque and realized, "Holy Fuck, I don't know how to sew!"
So I called my mom. Who lives, like, an hour away. And had a party to go to that night, herself.
But I needed help. So I said just the right thing to grate on her slightly Martha-Stewart-esque personality. "I can't sew this skirt," I said. "But it's o.k., I think I could just wrap the fabric around him like a sarong."
"You can't do that! There's no point in doing it if you're only going to do it halfway. I'm coming down. I can only stay for an hour."
I got off the phone, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. For some reason, The Funasaurus felt the need to call me a "Spoiled, spoiled girl."
Hi, I'm the princess. Nice to meet you.
So mom came down. And helped me make a fabulous, shiny pink shirt, custom sized for The Funasaurus, complete with a sparkly sequence trim on the front. (And only the front because idiot-here did not buy enough pink sequence. Who doesn't buy enough pink sequence? I feel like that is something I should have extra of, at all times!) Anyway.
Skirt + matching pink shirt + pink trouser pants + one very large stuffed sports bra + blond wig + fuzzy pink slippers + pink boa + pink gloves + spectacular work with eyeliner and pink face paint on my part, made for an awesome pink Funasaurus Piggy. Pictures to follow.
I was Kermit. Pictures also to follow.
I'm so ready for the trick-or-treaters. I bought six bags of (good) candy, just in case. I'm an awesome house to visit if you're a candy whore like I was, at trick-or-treating age. Now I'm more of a gourmet chocolate whore. But somehow that didn't prevent me from busting into the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup bag.....