Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Big Pimpin', Princess-Style

I have some bitchin' new boots. They are tall, (as in, high pokey heels as well as in, all-the-way-up-the-calf) and black and très Euro. They are all sorts of fabulous for my ego, (once I got over the vaguely-reminiscent-of-Julia-Roberts-circa-1990 part) which came just in time, because I had to give a presentation to the whole company this morning, and I su-u-uck at public speaking. I managed to keep it all together, though, and pull it off, thanks to my faux-leather courage (and also, to my apparent new-found love of hyphens) and now it is all over and I can return to my quiet life of writing e-mails and blog entries and occasionally working.

On the topics of computers ("What topic?" you might say, "That topic has not yet been introduced," you might continue. "Bad transition." "Well, tough, it's my blog, and I transition how and where I damn well please," I might reply): My home computer is still kaput. And my work computer is full of PORN! Not intentionally, let me tell you. And bad, un-graphic, short-lived porn, to boot. This is because my spam has recently gotten much more X-rated. I went from getting stock recommendations and the occasional discounted meds ad, to this morning's full on, "Your wife prefers your dog's (um... male part?) to yours!"

WTF?!

This bothers me a) because I have no wife b) I have no dog and c) I CERTAINLY HAVE NO "MALE PART"!

Harrumph. Apparently spammers do not do much audience research before plaguing inboxes.

Dear Computer,
Please note, I am not an old dude with a wife with a bestiality problem. I'm more of a strawberries and cute footwear kind of gal. With a slight royalty complex. Tell your spammer friends.
Thanks,
Princess G

8 comments:

Marcia said...

Um, I love your parentheses.

Lisa Pulliam said...

Stupid spammers. My fave are the "Dear Sir." I'm a dude! Oh my gosh! I've been living a lie for 24 years...

SNAKE HUNTERS said...

Princess Publishing in Denver!

Well, I don't shoosh mountains now,
but I do recall two chill winters
at Camp Hale (out of Leadville). Base camp was 9,500 with peaks over
14,000 ft all around us.

That was a while back. I still stand Inspection every morning now,
in my La-Z-Boy recliner!

Reality Check: 'History Post'.

I fantasize being a Hot Journalist!
Critical analysis is just meat & potatoes, so feel free to Post a
Comment. Record a first name & town. reb

www.lazyonebenn.blogspot.com

PeeJ said...

Hey wait a second. I thought you guys always hated us brits because we tramp around everywhere in boots?

:)

Great post...and superb blog.

Peej

R said...

Good thing you bought those boots!
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WEATHER/10/26/colo.blizzard.ap/index.html

Anonymous said...

Um. I fantasize about being a hot journalist too. Usually Stone Phillips.

Anyway, funny post. And you should just admit that you tried to open a porn spam email and instead dl'd a virus. Lol.

katie-q said...

We get those all the time here, my favourite was the one I got yesterday - 'Increase your cum output by 500%' - um no thanks, I don't know anyone who would want that, male or female!!

Belinda said...

First of all, having some experience with occasionally breeding our show-dogs(TO OTHER SHOWDOGS), um...GROSSSSS!!!

And on the topic of "topics," I assert that on your own blog, a mental segue is as good as any segue. That is, if it happens in your head, it's a good enough transition for your post.