Last night I was driving home all leisurely-like, (actually, it WAS leisurely, not just like leisurely) when I remembered, "Crap, our friend L is supposed to come over for dinner tonight!"
So I made a little detour to the liquor store, because when your house is a mess, and you're not sure what to serve guests, the answer is always: MORE ALCOHOL! They notice dirt and lack of food much less when they're plastered.
One sauvignon blanc and some random ass beer later, I swerved into my garage, freaked out both cats, and managed to vacuum our living room before L showed up exactly when he was supposed to. Damn him. But he was very good-natured about the mess, and settled in with his beer to begin idle chitchat. L is a darling Colombian who worked with me up at the ski resorts, and then played volleyball on a league with The Funasaurus last year. So he knows us both quite well, although he and I have a little more history, since we went through some very crazy years together.
The Funasaurus showed up soon after, and washed some dishes so that our guest did not have to eat salmon directly out of the cooking pan, and we sat down to eat well before midnight. The conversation over dinner went something like this:
Me: Have you heard from J and A?
L: Yes! And their baby S is doing quite well. Have you heard from C?
Me: Yes! And her baby A is doing quite well. Have you heard from M and K, and A and I?
L: All doing great. And I saw J and S, they have a second baby, as do S and A! So how's M these days?
Me: Fine, she's dating R, now, and her baby M is going really well. Wanna hear some juicy gossip?
L: Stupid question.
Me: JP and D are having an affair!
L: No.
Me: Oh, yes.
The Funasaurus: wondering about dessert, seeing as how he does not know J, A, S, C, A, M, K, A, I, J, S, S, A M, R, M, JP, or D.
We prattled on long enough for me to absentmindedly serve L some gorgonzola-y salad that I had just put together, only to remember two seconds too late that he doesn't like cheese, and The Funasaurus doesn't like blue cheese, so basically I made a big ol' salad for just me. (Great salad though, baby greens + thinly sliced red onion + tart apple slices + gorgonzola = almost good enough for me to eat 2.7 lbs of it all by myself. Almost.) Finally dessert was busted out, volleyball was mentioned for like, half a second, and we returned to gossiping, until L had to go.
The Funasaurus: So, ah, I don't know these people, but they seem to have lots of babies.
Me: Ha! Yeah. Suckers. But at least I feel like I have filled my gossip tank. I should be good for another 2,000 miles or 3 months, whichever comes first.
The Funasaurus smirked all the way to his video game, knowing that that was a complete lie, but because he picks his battles and tends to be just fine with keeping some jokes to himself, he did not say anything. Although he didn't fight too hard when I insisted on doing the dishes. But it was worth it. And this morning I didn't have to get up early to vote, so that meant for more snuggle time, and the only confusing piece of this whole equation is really: Why isn't it Friday, already?
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3 comments:
It's that old awkward social situation where two people talk about people the third person doesn't know, while the third person slowly passes out from boredom. I know it well.
I have been in that frenzy of cleaning before a dinner party! What kind of salmon did you make, asks the foodie? ;) I giggled at this; so witty:
The Funasaurus: wondering about dessert, seeing as how he does not know J, A, S, C, A, M, K, A, I, J, S, S, A M, R, M, JP, or D.
Had to pop in and tell you how much I enjoy your posts - you have such an irreverent and delightful sense of humor!
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