I Would Vote for... Me

This morning The Funasaurus and I got up early to do our civic duty. The Funasaurus got up obscenely early to do an hour of oh-so-disciplined work before I bothered to drag myself out of bed at 6:15. I showered and smeared goo in my hair and called it good because blow-drying seemed unreasonably long and complicated, and we were off, arriving not too long after the polls opened at 7:00.

Our voting site was at the local elementary school. This was bad because KIDS! Playing! Confusing things! Adults don't function a) happily b) nimbly, so as to avoid bouncing balls, that early in the morning. And also: new school, so they didn't have the kinks worked out, yet, so the line was very slow-moving due to overwhelmed computer systems. Also: short hallways, so the line wound around and around and out the door, to where I sat shivering with my wet hair.

This was good because: elementary school = BAKE SALE! Tra-la! Oh, there were goodies for those of us waiting in line, available at SUCH reasonable prices. I love lower education fund raisers. What killed me was that no one else seemed half as excited about the banana bread and cupcakes. CUPCAKES, people! They even brought them to you while you waited! I sat there twitching in anticipation, silently willing people away from the chocolate things, while the guy made his way down the line with his little basket. I could feel the sugar coming. The Funasaurus acted like he didn't know me. No one else in line seemed interested (their loss) and I got a huge-ass Rice Krispy treat that was so delicious I can't even tell you; I haven't had one of those in YEARS.

Then I voted and I got my sticker. Of course, that didn't come easily, either. I love stickers! It's why I vote. I love elitist feeling of, oh-you-have-to-be-special-to-get-this-sticker! Once I made it through the line and voted, there was a short line filtering out of the school. And somewhere in the midst was an old lady with a roll of stickers. She tried to give one to the guy in front of me, but he turned her down. (?!) (Again, their loss.) Then she acted like she would skip me, so I sat there in front of her and was all, "Gimme."

She looked rather surprised, actually. But she gave me a sticker. Then I waited for The Funasaurus, who breezed past the old lady and I very pointedly caught him by the elbow, made eye contact with the lady, and was like, "Baby, don't you want your sticker???" very loudly. She happily obliged. I am starting to realize what a significant portion of The Funasaurus' life is spent pretending to not know me.

Whatever. I know he's secretly grateful he got a sticker.

Rock the vote, y'all. Feel the elitist sticker love.