A Tale As Old As Time

So last night The Funasaurus made the executive decision, after concluding that There's Really Nothing to Watch on T.V. At All, that we would watch a movie. And his movie selection? Aladdin.

I had not forgotten about Aladdin. No. How could one forget Prince Ali-Ababwa? But I had, somewhat, dislodged from my memory banks the fact that it was a movie we could watch any old time we wanted to. I do not believe I have seen Aladdin in years.

So I deemed that A Very Good Idea, Indeed, and we watched the diamond in the rough come in to his potential.

Which, hee hee, is funny to say. "Come in to his potential." BWAH-HA-HA-HA!

You will not find this statement as funny as I do, unless you, too, in an effort to prove yourself "supremely knowledgeable in all things search engine-y" your freshman year of college (no, seriously, the internet was still quite a novelty, then!) you went looking for "Disney Porn" (oh, I can't wait to see what kind of fabulous folks stumble there way to my blog with THAT search) with your newfound BFF of about a day and a half, because you had heard it existed.

Well. It exists.

And I have never looked at Miss Jasmine quite the same way, since.

But Aladdin? "Coming into his potential"? Hee?

I'm not sure I've seen the movie since that fateful experience some many years ago, but it certainly gave it a whole new feel. So to speak.

Since then, I have learned about all the little sneaky, dirty things Disney animators have snuck into their films, over the years. Some are somewhat bogus, in my humble opinion. Phallic-shaped tower on the Little Mermaid castle on the video cassette cover? Eh. I see which one they mean. It doesn't scream "ABSOLUTE PENIS" to me, though. However, the nudie poster in The Rescuers WAS apparently true... and the leaves spelling "S-E-X" in The Lion King are a big MAYBE.

Which makes me wonder, what else has gone on that ISN'T recorded? Was there subversive S&M in Rainbow Brite? ("The Dark Princess?" Maybe? Maybe?) What were The Muppets doing with the lower half of their bodies that we only got to see about a 1/3 of the time? There was cross-dressing in Bugs Bunny, but that doesn't seem as risqué, does it? I mean, little kids just like costumes. I know I did. And I was totally normal. Despite demanding to be dressed as an entire ear of corn, one Halloween. Totally normal.

Does anyone know any more juicy, animated secrets? I'm certainly curious....

In the meantime, I think I am going to go watch a movie with a much nicer, more wholesome message. Like Dirty Dancing. I took a lot of good messages away from that classic. Nobody puts Princess G in the corner. Nobdody.