Monday, August 11, 2008

What Could Be More Natural Than a Twinkie?

This weekend I was reading my Glamour magazine (my consummate source of all things science research-y) and there was an article about the increasing rate of autoimmune diseases (such as MS, crohn’s disease, Type 1 diabetes, celiac disease, etc) in the U.S., particularly in women. It said that scientists are looking into the correlation of processed food in our diets to the increased risk for these types of things. They are saying our bodies just can’t keep up with technology, and that our immune systems are working overtime, breaking down all of those pesticides and preservatives that come in/on so much of our food. On their Very Bad list? : preserved bread products and cereals.

Motherfucker, that is my WHOLE DIET. I subsist off of bread and cereal. And also cheese. Which, you know, is a food that is a result of preservatives. I’m thinking I may as well just start taking Red Dye #26, or whatever it is, intravenously. Save the effort of chewing.

Their argument kind of makes sense… but that’s a lot to digest (hee? Funny? No?) for a girl who literally ate nothing but: cereal, Fritos, and pie yesterday. Homemade mulberry pie. It was AWESOME. Also: made with real lard.

So today I’m going to yoga and then maybe to the grocery store to buy some quinoa. Which will obviously not really make a dent at all in the nearly-thirty-some years I’ve had of regular Frito and cereal consumption. But I’m getting kind of sick of rice so it seems like a nice change that Glamour would approve of. I've always wanted Glamour's approval, despite my propensity for socks that so very obviously do not coordinate with the rest of my outfit.

Now that I’m thinking about it, we’re also out of ice cream sandwiches. Maybe I will pick some of those up, too, while I'm at the store. You know, you don’t want to shock the system TOO much.

8 comments:

Princess of the Universe said...

Ice cream has dairy. Are the four food groups still good for you? :)

Diane said...

I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting yesterday . . . beside the half bottle of red food coloring, those have to be good for you, right?

Wickedly Scarlett said...

I have reached the conclusion that pretty much every food item in my regular diet is going to kill me at some point, so I've just kind of accepted it and moved on. Because like hell am I giving up Golden Grahams or Freschetta pizzas.

meno said...

Sigh. I guess i need to learn to live on air.

Would that make me an air head?

Christie said...

I have turned my back on reading that stuff, it just depresses me and makes me feel bad about myself. I say as long as I'm not Twinkie chugging or licking the Fritos bag, I'm doing OK.

I'm going to go make Guinness stout chocolate ice cream and then consume the whole thing. Oh, don't worry about my kids, they will be at church.

Ramblin' Red said...

Oh, I am familiar with this...they forgot to mention the surge in neuro atypical disorders like autism/sensory issues - they are linking it to the diet stuff too.

It's sad.

Makes me want to become a hippie :)

Bonnie said...

Long live ice cream sandwiches! The BEST thing ever. PS I subsist on Goldfish crackers, string cheese, and Cookie Crisp cereal. With some salads thrown in to balance it out. :)

AJ said...

I've heard that a twinkie doesn't go bad for like 40 years or something... probably not the best for your tummy. LOL :)