Little Somethin' Extra

I am having the most delicious day, today!

It started out ominously enough, what we me getting up earlier than I normally do. However, it was not to go to work. Work has decided to oh-so-kindly finally upgrade my ancient computer that I think came out sometime in the Mesozoic era, and was perhaps trampled on my a brachiosaurus before being handed down to me full of unused files and spyware, and so that is GREAT news for someone who would like to open e-mail attachments in under 2.5 minutes. What with 90% of my job coming from e-mail attachments. Getting an unofficial day off because I had to overnight my computer back to the New Jersey location to exchange it for the new one that will be overnighted to me tomorrow is just a big icing on the big slab of extra frosting cyber cake!

I like words.

So anyway. I got up EARLY on my unofficialbutofficial day off to go brave the Social Security office again, thanks to some advice from April, (HI APRIL! GREAT ADVICE!) and got there 40 minutes before they opened for the day to get my damn SQ78536865 number. It would have been 60 minutes, except I *may* have gotten lost on the way. On the way to the office that’s not all that hard to find. The office where I was just at last week. I *may* have called my mother in tears to get her to Google (and if you know my mother, you know that asking her to Google something on the COMPUTER is asking a lot) the damn Social Security office because I was pretty sure it had evaporated. Mostly likely because someone threw holy water on it.

Sadly, It was still there, slightly south of where I had expected to find it, (apparently not enough holy water was thrown, but at least it’s moving in the right direction) and I went in, armed with The Official Marriage License, OMG, a certified COPY of the marriage license, the temporary marriage license, the official form I had printed out and filled in from the Social Security website, my passport, my birth certificate, my driver’s license, reading material, and the rights to my first born child, and also what’s left of my soul.

I only had to wait for 20 minutes after they opened, before my number was called and I came face to face with the SAME FUCKING DRONE who was so rude to me last week. I smiled at her, and did not shove any papers at her, and handed things to her (including The Official Marriage License, OMG) as she asked for them.

She seemed exceptionally cold, and rebuffed any smile I tried to give her. Fortunately, she could not send me away in tears because I came with a full armory of Official Crap OMG, this time.

At one point she abruptly got up, mid-typing, and disappeared, with no explanation. She came back, handed me a piece of paper, and said, “Please sign here and here if this information is correct.” She looked annoyed that I bothered to read it over before signing.

“Erm.” I said, summoning all of my courage, “This is actually NOT correct.”

The drone finally made eye contact with me. The HORROR! You have never seen such condescending hatred in your whole life!

“I actually would like to be Princess Golashes Funasaurus,” I explained. (It has a nice ring to it, no?) “Not Princess in Funasaurus,” I continued.

“It would have been helpful to have told me that earlier,” the drone sneered.

“Well, I didn’t know,” I said. “I have it written on this official form, here,” I said, sliding it across the counter.

“You should have given it to me earlier,” she said, evilness oozing off of every syllable.

“You didn’t ask for it, “ I replied snottily, finally getting pissed, remembering how she snapped at me the week before when I tried to give her the paper before her royal droneness was ready for them.

She rolled her eyes, took the form, THREW IT IN THE TRASH, and then proceeded to re-fill out my application. She got up, got the paper for me to sign again, and the deal was done. She said I could expect my card in the mail in two weeks.

I almost skipped away in joy, but I stood there smiling and said, “THANKS! Have a great day!”

She did not even look up. I kid you not. There was no way she missed it, I was intentionally loud. She was intentionally rude, and I thought many hateful things, but I smiled and walked out, and am now waiting for my card to arrive in the mail.

I considered it a success, though stressful, and ran some errands, and then took myself to McDonalds for lunch to celebrate my uofficialbutofficial day off. Ask me if I’m even sorry. Go ahead.

Am I?

No! No I am not even sorry! Thanks for asking.

Then I came home and played on-line. Then I checked my voicemail at work, returned one phone call, cuddled with Sugar, took a nap, woke up to Sugar snarling at Tatum who had decided to attack her head while she slept, and played on the computer some more.

Not bad.