Wherein I Prove I Should Be Writing This Blog with Quill and Parchment

Well, I’m seriously beginning to question my boss’, Kanga’s, sanity.

Yesterday he deemed it a good idea to give the new girl, the English major, ME, the project of moving our domains. Now, I barely knew what a domain was. (Although, if I understand it correctly, it’s kind of the shoebox for your website. … with your website being the shoe. And the shoebox says “Manolo Blahnik” on it, so that the world wide web can see just exactly where you buy your footwear. Or maybe it’s a plot of land, and your website is the house. That’s more accurate, seeing as how, without your domain, your website will just float around, lost, in cyberspace. As we shall soon see. [Also, I realize your house would not necessarily “float” without your plot of land. It would more “sink halfway to China before it was vaporized by molten lava and heavy Earth and whatnot,” which is waaaaay cooler than cyberspace, but I digress….])

Meanwhile, it turns out ol’ Kanga is something of a domain whore, owning dozens of domains, all registered at different places. My job was to consolidate them on one server, and under one account, and point them all to one site in particular… yawn! me, too, I’m bored already, so we’ll skip to the part wherein I go, “Fuck, our website’s gone.”

And then, “Fuck. Our e-mail also appears to be not working.”

And things spiraled out of control from there.

Finally, after a few held back tears and e-mails to my sister-in-law, who used to be on the Best Buy Geek Squad, wherein we placed bets on whether I was going to be fired by the end of the day or not, we deduced that yeah, that was quite a pickle I had gotten myself into, but really, where on my resume, between “writing press releases” and “minimal copyediting experience” did Kanga think it said, “Great with technology- test me!”?

So we blamed him, and sis assured me no one would think ill of me if I headed directly to the bar, post-sorting-this-out.

By the end of the day, e-mails seemed to be back up and running, and as of this morning, our website is working, phew, but I’m not sure how long I’m going to last at this job. I mean, the snow shoveling and internet work have both expanded my horizons, I suppose. But I kind of liked my horizons where they were, all technologically ignorant and blurry behind a big glass of chardonnay.