Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Tiny Bubbles, Gaping Caverns of Snow, and Mini Bites of Heaven

Last night The Funasaurus was out, so I indulged in a bubble bath, which I haven’t done in quite a while. The premise was to ying the Hunchback of Notre Dame yang. This is the next book for our book group, and really, the three-paged descriptions of fucking marble tables and ladders was just not doing it for me. Also, I think authors who address their audience directly run a high risk of sounding really pretentious… don’t you agree?

So I settled into the bath (good bubbles, I was loving it a little too much, with the bubble beard and whatnot. I may have pushed Tatum’s face in a little. He was asking for it, peering all googly-eyed into the mountain of suds and batting them onto my book) to force myself to get to at least page 100. I declared that a suitable defeat, deeming it enough patience to arrive at book club with my head held high, ready to denounce authors who were paid by the word, as opposed to by the book.

But then… I got into it. Somewhere around the descriptions of the stupid rocks in the road, there was suddenly scandal and beatings and lust and gallows and stolen children and silk shoes. Now, I love me some stolen children and silk shoes, so I pressed on. Somewhere in there, The Funasaurus came home, sad because I had not ordered him Chinese like I had said I would. (Can’t cook dinner if I’m busy marinating myself in floral bubble bath, now can I?)

I generously offered he could join me in the bath, and he backed away liked I had asked him to dance ballet with me while shopping for a dress at the mall.

That is to say , he did not exactly seem as excited about the bath as I had hoped. I tried batting my eyelashes and hiding the soggy classic literature I was still attempting to read. He muttered something about no amount of temptation could get him to willingly boil himself (harrumph, sue me, I don’t care to bath in sub-arctic temperatures) and went off to order his take-out while I developed into a soupy, Quasimodo-loving prune over the next TWO HOURS.

Today I am still a little dehydrated, but I smell lovely, and I feel all relaxed. And we did go snowshoeing over the weekend:

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Hi.

And I know it looks all sweet and cute and bloated and whatnot, but really, if you look closely, you can see that I am holding The Funasaurus' sunglasses. That is because just moments prior, he was prying himself out of a very large hole in the snow that literally swallowed him, and I, being the supremely helpful and concerned wife, held his sunglasses for him as he struggled to get his head unburied.

And we saw a pretty door with some snow. And I took a picture.

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And I also bought the most amazing thing ever. Along with the most amazing thing-ever-maker. Which I so did not wait to use, and busted out today. Anything that lowers the cake to icing ratio, in my mind, is a Very Good Thing.

Did you know that one regular box of cake batter actually makes an ARMY of mini cupcakes? I cooked about 100 of them, before I decided that there was probably no way we could eat more than that, and so I sadly washed the rest of the batter down the drain. … After feeding myself many generous spoonfuls of raw dough, seeing as how there was no nay saying Funasaurus around with all of his fun-hating “salmonella” talk.

Now I’m off to read more of La Esmerelda’s adventures with the ol’ hunchback, all hyped up on my yellow cake and chocolate frosting high. G’night.

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(Don't even try to tell me you're not just a LEETLE bit jealous.)

Also, I feel the Grand Marnier and Jim Beam in the background give it that little je ne sais quoi....

11 comments:

Diane said...

I LOVE reading in the bath tub, and hot, hot, hot is the only way to go . . .

I've only showhoed a couple of times, but enjoy it, and that door photo is AWESOME!

Marcia said...

cupcake sugar highs are seriously the best sugar highs there are.

I had a chocolate Magnolia cupcake (http://www.magnoliacupcakes.com/ - and they're as good as the hype.) yesterday and I was coasting on the sugar highway all afternoon. It was awesome.

c3 said...

Um...Yum! And I love your little cupcake tree. I saw one of those the other day and thought of you, but OF COURSE you already have one. And, HOW did you convince the Funasaurus to go snowshoeing?!

Diane said...

OMG - I am SO going to get Magnolia Cupcakes the next time I'm in NYC!

Lily said...

Yummy! Cupcake craving!

Oh! And The Hunchback of Notre-Dame is one of my favorite classics ever!
Of course it's long and overly descriptive, but like you know now, it hooks you up.

I think it was fashionable and hip for writers in Victor Hugo's time to "talk to" the reader.... I'm reading The Master and Margarita right now and it's the same...a bit bizarre but you get used to it.

I won't spoil the story for you, but be prepared for events and characters to become extremely different from the movie versions, especially Disney's!haha!
And don't worry, there will be no such things as talking gargoyles. I could read pages and pages about the qualities of a rock for the promise that there would be no such thing.

Angela said...

Oh my God, every time I come here I leave wanting a cupcake! I will now forever associate you with cupcakes--and I think that is not necessarily a bad thing ;)

Oh, and Marcia, Magnolia is delish, but you MUST try the Sugar Sweet Sunshine (http://www.sugarsweetsunshine.com/) in my opinion, even better than Magnolia, and not as... overexposed?

Hm, I think I shall add Hunchback to my list of books to read this year. Maybe I will skip the first 100 pages though?

meno said...

I don't fit in the bathtub. :(

But i do like cupcakes. :)

Snark Scribe said...

Mmm. I want a mini cupcake pan now, although I just loaded myself up with 4 boxes of chocolate cake mix, M&Ms and heart-shaped muffin tins for Valentine's Day.

Princess in Galoshes said...

Diane- I've only snowshoed a couple times, too, but I'd like to go, more. It was fun.

Marcia- Yum. I am totally coming to visit you, just for the cupcakes.

C3- Hee hee. I have wanted a cupcake tree for a long time, I finally splurged and got on. It's so awesome. And to answer your question... I drugged him.

Lily- I finished Hunchback. And I hate it. I like happy endings.

Angela- How do you know so much about the NY cupcake scene? Do you know anything about a scene closer to me??? Also, skip Hunchback. Not worth it.

Meno- I don't fit in our bathtub, either. But I was just craving the hot water. You can come over for cupcakes, anytime!

Snark Scribe- I knew I liked you!

Lily said...

Maybe I should have warned you about the ending??lol
Well, I guess the complete tragedy is why I like it.
I love happy endings like any other girl, but those tear-jerkers are nice for a change. They make you feel better about your own situtation I guess...
Life sometimes sucks and you don't always gets an ever-after.
That's one of the reasons why Moulin Rouge is also one of my favorite movies....
Don't get me wrong, every time I read Hunchback, I catch myself hoping that Esmeralda will just run off with Quasimodo. I'm still a hopeless romantic.

Diane said...

I am now obsessed with finding or baking cupcakes, and I blame you!