Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Little Cabin in the Woods... With High Speed Dial-Up, Please.

This weekend I dragged The Funasaurus on what I called, “an adventure” and what he called, “an enormous waste of time and gas.”

I like to play a little game called, Let’s Pretend We Have Lots of Money and Also We Don’t Have to Work Anymore. And with that mindset, I scrounge around on real estate websites for my dream home. I found one last week and forwarded the link to The Funasaurus all, “Look baby, want to move to Golden?”

And he wrote back, “Despite what the address reads, if you look at the map, this house is closer to the summit of some very tall mountains, rather than downtown Golden.”

“Pshaw,” I said, “What do maps know?”

So after lunch on Saturday I offered to drive us home. And then I got on the highway going the wrong way. “Where are we going?” asked The Funasaurus.

“On an adventure,” I said, mysteriously, hoping he was envisioning fabulous voyages and fun shopping sprees. (Because I would have been totally up for that, after doing what I had in mind.)

“We going to see that damn house, aren’t we,” he said, less like a question and more like a statement of fact from a resigned husband who knows he’s just been kidnapped in his own car.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?” I demanded, looking around for clues. Like car gnomes, or something, might have tipped him off.

He shook his head, and let me drive him 40 minutes to Golden, then another 20 minutes up a windy mountain road to look at my darling little log cabin. Which was amazing, and had a really great view from EVERY angle. Though I fell a little less in love with it when I saw the bear carcass nailed to the north side of it.

“But at least your commute would be picturesque,” I attempted.

“Providing there was no snow on this high, alpine dirt road,” said The Funasaurus, eyeing the snowdrifts on either side of us, “It would take me at least what my commute is NOW, to get to the highway. Where I would then have to drive another 40 minutes, imagining there’s no traffic at 7:30 AM on the busiest highway in the state, to get to my office.

No thanks.”

So my dream was squashed, but it was fun to find a new road, nonetheless. I like new roads. And upon further inspection of the real estate link, there is not only a dead bear on the outside of the house, but a very large, dead elk head on their chimney inside. Which made me gag more than just a little. I like my meat in ground, neatly packaged, plastic containers with “free range” stickers that bear exactly zero resemblance to the cute little animals that they once were, thank you very much.

Plus, in retrospect, the cabin didn't have turrets. How is my dream home NOT going to have at least one little turret? So the search is still on.


Princess Extraordinaire said...

It's always fun to hunt for new places and half of the thrill is the exploring - I am sorry this one didn't work out but there are so many others just waiting for you!

Marcia said...

Men always ruin our fun happy dreams!

Audrey/SangriaLover said...

What you did is something my husband would definitely do (and has done before, actually). And how the Funasaurus reacted? Is pretty much how I would/do react to such adventures. But I do end up having fun in the end.

c3 said...

There are some cute cabins in the Adirondacks! Any chance the Funasaurus would like a 2,000 mile commute?! They pretty much all have taxidermy too, though.

(Also, I responded to your question on my comments page.)

meno said...

What a poo poo head.

A bear carcass? Ick!

Pauline said...

It's more fun to ride along with you than it is to go alone...

I used to live in a log cabin - one I helped build myself. Maybe the Funasaurus would be up for that kind of adventure?

M-M-M-Mishy said...

I love looking at houses. I used to do open house tours on Saturdays when I was bored. Did I have a hope in hell of buying a house? Oh no. But I love pretending I might.

Out of fear of being kidnapped, how long do you think it will be before he lets you drive again?

Ryan said...

Log cabins sound very drafty. Why not just move into a Tree house?

Diane said...

Besides, you know whomever lives in that cabin will be marked as an enemy by all the beasties in the woods . . .

I eat meat, so I don't feel like I can be super anti-hunting, but I just don't see the point in trophy hunting

hamiam said...

we are kindred spirits this way...well, not so much with turret thing, but the fantasy shopping.

Princess in Galoshes said...

PE- I like your enthusiasm.

Marcia- Next time you are in Colorado, we should go exploring!

Audrey- Well, I'm glad you end up having fun in the end! Maybe that means The Funasaurus didn't totally hate it....

C3- Unlikely he'll want to take the NY bar. But maybe! I'll run the idea by him. How's your plant doing?

Meno- I know, sick, right? But the house, itself, was very cool.

Pauline- You BUILT a log cabin? I used to live in a log cabin, too, high up on a mountain. But I certainly did not build it. I'm so impressed.

Ryan- I'm afraid of heights.

Diane- It's the display of dead animals that kills me. I just don't get how that's appealing on any level.

Ham- It's like faux retail therapy, no?

Christie said...

As I've said before, and I will repeat: I like nature, just not being in it, near it or with it.

But I, too, like new roads. I had the best adventure a few years ago driving home from California taking Highway 101, through the Redwood Forest. It was so beautiful and followed the ocean.