Thursday, October 09, 2008

Dirty Old Bird

Miss Emily! I had such… preconceived notions of you. But I kind of like the dirty, pre-victorian wenching in daddy’s living room version, too.

A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day.—Emily Dickinson.

Aye. And the word today is debauchery! I say we all have a naughty little tryst tonight in honor of Miss Dickinson.

Also, since I seem incapable of letting the vampire thing go, and we’re talking about repressed sexual intentions anyway, this is some funny shit:

And for those of you out there with any sort of cooking skeelz… how big of a turkey am I going to need to get if, in a fit of generosity and extreme stupidity, I offered to have 17 people come to my house for Thanksgiving? Forget that our table holds eight. Max. And when should I start cooking said gigantic poultry specimen? Last April?


meno said...

That hussy!

The turkey? Make sure to get one that won't fit in your oven. That will make the day exciting.

Lily said...

Great idea! Let's start with the Friday night debauchery!
I'll have a little tought for you, Cat!:P (In a completly platonic-blogger-friend way!!)

Pauline said...

My cookbook says:

10 pound turkey for 6 people

12 pound turkey for 8 people

15 pound turkey for 10 people

18 pound turkey for 12 people

21 pound turkey for 14 people

24 pound turkey for 16 people

- If you will be serving more than 16 guests (a recommended turkey size of more than 24 pounds), buy two turkeys that equal the total suggested weights.

Send leftovers my way ;)

Snark Scribe said...

I just trust the people selling the turkey, and follow the "feeds ___ people" label on the bird.

Perhaps this is why I always have 2/3 of the turkey left. Liars!

Oh, and start defrosting in your fridge about a week before. Don't ask me how I learned that.

Christie said...

I made a 35 pound bird for 20 people, and I had leftovers. I started at 6:30 and it was done and ready to be cut at 3:00. Remember to add 1/2 hour rest time to your plans. You can't just hack away at it when it first comes out. I also suggest getting a fresh bird, they are so much tastier. And brine it for maximum juicyness.

Imez said...

A link to the Dickinson story would have saved me valuable typing time.

Before I read though, I feel confident in say, how can anyone know about the sex life of a long dead recluse?