Thursday, September 04, 2008

Where I Bore You to Tears with My Inane Discussion of Processed Cookies

I re-discovered something wonderful tonight, while meandering around the grocery store trying to find more things to buy because I was just that sick of sitting around at home. (I prefer to think of it as adventurous, or maybe efficient, rather than pitiful.)

Given enough time, one can find treasures at King Soopers, did you know?

Like say: ORIGINAL ANIMAL CRACKERS.



I had no idea they were still around. And they are still so good! I have already eaten the whole box. I used to love these things as a kid. I remember swinging my box around on its little string, pretending it was a purse, until it inevitably broke. Twenty-five years later, the giraffe is still my favorite cookie due to its perfect blend of animal-exoticness and texture. Something about the giraffe spots really does it for my palate.

There is also now a koala in the mixture. It’s sleeping on a branch, and kind of teddy-bear-esque, compared to the other lumpy animal shapes. I’m not complaining, I’m a huge koala fan. But I do not remember it being part of the original zoo. It is certainly not displayed on the tiny train car cages on the outside of the box.

For what it’s worth, I think the zebra is my second-favorite cookie. The stripes being similar to giraffe spots to my ever-discerning tongue.

Speaking of zebra stripes, I recently tried teeth-whitening. I do not suggest this exercise in disfigurement to anyone. Some of my teeth are a bit whiter. In places. In, like, horizontal-stripe places across the front of a tooth or two. I have never smiled less in my life.

Now the question is, do I attempt it again tonight, to see if I can even out the damage? I am just a little tipsy right now, that seems like a viable option, even though a little corner of my brain is suggesting I should consult a dentist first. Pooh to the dentist! They’re the ones who hooked me up with the sexy saran-wrap version of my teeth in the first place, promising lighter shades and brighter smiles. It was apparently my own incorrect conclusion that the lighter shade would appear over the full surface of a whole tooth.

Princess Zebra Grin out.

6 comments:

Diane said...

I'm still bitter over M&M's decision to no longer make the light brown colored M&Ms . . . they were my favorite ones that I would save for last . . .

D'Rae said...

diane I too loved the tan m&m's!!! The tan and the brown were my favorites!

Tooth Whitening - I love me some crest whitestripes! But, alas, they too sometimes do a part whiter than others. I think it is due to our teeth actually. I naturally have a whiter stripe on some of my teeth due to calcuim deposits. So I wouldn't worry about it to much!

animal crackers rock! Target has some that are really good. They are usually located up by the registers and they are lik 99 cents for the box. I think they are called spotted dog cookies or something like that, cause they have the target dog on it and it is in the shape of a dog house.

Nick, Holly & Maren said...

I'm sorry, but when it comes to animal crackers, nothing, and i mean NOTHING, compares to the pink and white frosted ones....

mmmmmmmmmmmm......Can I say I'm having a 'craving' and get whatever i want?

Christie said...

My kids love those things, too! I always try and steal one from them but they quickly yank the box outta my grasp and claim "MINE!!!!!!!!!!!" so loud, I think someone is going to think I stole the kids.

meno said...

Zebra striped teeth. Zebra favorite animal cookie.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Wickedly Scarlett said...

Oh man, I LOVE the pink frosted animal crackers! And Teddy Grahams, I love those. Oh, and Graham Crackers! You know what, pretty much everything I had at snack time when I was five is still awesome.