Friday, September 19, 2008

Ahoy! Kitty Puke!

Last night The Funasaurus and I drove all the way up to Boulder to go to a football game. Happily, it was epic, and happily-er, we won, so The Funasaurus was in a good mood because so help me but if I stood on my feet for three hours right in front of the guy screaming “SPEEDY!” just to have it all go to hell, I think I would have had to have exacted some revenge on football.

Less happily, it was so epic that it went into overtime. Couple that with the fact that West Virginia was determined to piss everyone off and play their remaining two seconds at every quarter even though exactly nothing could happen, and it added up to be an extraordinarily long football game. Which meant we got to bed extraordinarily late.

Thus making it, naturally, the night Tatum chooses to get sick all over our carpet. About nine times. Let me tell you that 3:45 AM is exactly NOT the ideal time to realize you need to put Resolve Carpet Cleaner on your grocery list.

I have also searched far and wide on Google for The Funasaurus’ new ring tone, which is very brown chicken brown cow, but I can’t find it. But if you ever happen to stumble across a Rumor phone, it’s tone six.

Also and most importantly, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, landlubbers! Shiver me timbers! ARRRRG. And Yar.

...

I’m out.

But here’s my favorite pirate joke:

Q: What kind of socks do pirates wear?

A: Arrrrrrrg-yle.

What are your favorites? I need to build a better repertoire, here.

7 comments:

Christie said...

At least it was not on your bed, which is Charlie's favorite spot, me matey. Is he OK? Kitty flu? Is there such a thing?

I have no pirate jokes, Jay is the jokester in our house. I am the lame rule maker.

D'Rae said...

Love the Argyle joke!

Snark Scribe said...

I can't remember who I've told this to before:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender asks, "Isn't it a bit uncomfortable to have a steering wheel in your pants?"

The pirate says, "Aarrgh! It's driving me nuts!"

Michele said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michele said...

Oh, I miss football. REAL football, not the soccer kind. :-)

Few things are more ARRRRG-inducing than 3.00am kitty puke. I'm with Christie on how lucky you were that it was the rug, not the bed. Not real lucky, but at least a little bit lucky.

Okay, I know one pirate joke:

Why couldn't the pirate play golf?

Because he had a bad left hook.

Ahoy indeed! :-)

Diane said...

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend so many years at C.

Wickedly Scarlett said...

Still laughing at the brown chicken brown cow--why does that never stop being funny to me? See, this is why working with eight year olds is really my perfect profession.

Glad that your team won, sad that you had to clean up cat puke!