I'll Alien Your America

I don’t like sports.

Ha.

There.

I said it.

And The Funasaurus can’t dump me because he committed himself to me for life. Sucker.

Sometimes, I enjoy being at a stadium, there is something to be said for the rush of being part of a large crowd all with the same agenda- hating the other guys and craving another overpriced hot dog. But really, I don’t have the patience for actually watching a game. It just doesn’t do it for me, as hard as I try to learn, sometimes.

I still prefer Sex and the City reruns, all of which I’ve seen at LEAST ten or twelve times, a piece. But with the advent of DVR (oh, holy DVR) and the fast-forwarding of commercials (and also Seasons 2 and 3 on DVD) it is pure, unadulterated, Samantha Jones & co. Sadly, with the advent of DVR, also comes the ability to watch every fucking football game EVER and then basketball. Right after we spent an otherwise perfectly good Saturday at a college football game. Where we were beaten so badly I’m thinking even The Funasaurus is going to take a little break from watching. (Perhaps it wouldn’t be all bad if we were to get spanked more often?)

DVR has also got us hooked on TV shows that are happening right now, OMG. We are more likely to start watching shows once they’ve already been in syndication for a while. Like Scrubs. We discovered that last year. And Friends and Seinfeld were our staples on the weeknights, up until recently. However now that DVR is around, it can record things that other people are watching on a regular basis, thus giving us a slighter chance at being “cool” and “in.”

Ha ha.

Actually, there is one show that I’m really enjoying, called Aliens in America. It’s kind of a silly family comedy, and I don’t normally really like those. (Gag me, Malcolm in the Middle.) But it is also jumping right in to bigotry and terrorism at a time when our culture seems so hung up on being politically correct (Carlos Mencia excluded) that we aren’t really discussing some really dark and growing stereotypes that are kind of the barnacles on our leading world power boat.

So what better way to discuss whether our constitution covers the right to privacy than a gawky 15-year old boy trying desperately trying to hide the fact that he looked at boobs on his Pakistani friend’s computer, which the police are trying to confiscate?

Take that, Malcolm. I don’t think they’ve ever let you look at girlie pictures on your set.