Look Who Decided to Rejoin the Party

I'm back, finally. I apologize for the delay, but while I was at the conference, I was told not-so-subtly that They (the almighty IT gods, I assume?) are monitoring you! and I couldn't come up with a reasonable correlation between running spreadsheets and Blogger, so I decided not to risk it until I was back at an un-work-affiliated computer. Because I'm chicken like that.

But the long and short of it is: My own special hell shall consist of nothing more than running copious amounts of spreadsheets THATAREDUEIN5MINUTESOHMYGOD!

ANDALSO.THEPRINTER.ISOUTOFINK!

True, I was staying at the Ritz. But I worked my ass off, and would silently scream at the carefree squeals of delight coming from the heated, fleur-de-lis-shaped pool, as I ran unending amounts of spreadsheets day in and day out. I worked into the wee hours of the night (morning) running and printing thousands of copies of reports that people may or may not end up needing the next day.

Well, it wasn't actually all reports and spreadsheets.

The nights alternated between straining my eyes until they were practically bleeding, staring at minuscule cells in Excel, and going out to five star meals with my boss' boss' BOSS, (which would have been a helpful title to have known BEFORE I went head-to-head with him on Jamo shots and proceeded to tell him he was my new BFF, even if his tie was ugly. ... True story.)

In between all this, I somehow discovered that my roommate moonlights as a psychic, that I am incompetent when it comes to changing cartridges on color ink jet printers, especially when under extreme pressure, and that the jewelry store in the adjacent Marriott was having a 50% off sale. Hello, cute new pearl earrings!

And to top things off, on the way home, I sat next to Mulan on the airplane. Or, at least, one of the many Mulans who walk around Disney World in very warm costumes and makeup all day. She was more chatty than I remembered from the movie. We are now MySpace buddies. Naturally.

The Funasaurus picked my surly, two-hour delayed ass up from the airport, and gave me lots of kisses despite aforementioned surliness. Tatum acted extremely pleased to see me, though that may be due to the fact that I bribed him with a mouse, and Sugar went out of her way to ignore me, not disguising her extreme unhappiness with the fact that I up and left her for a week with the boys. (Though I did find her wrapped around my head in the middle of the night, like the world's fuzziest, most-pissed off headband ever.)

And now the weekend's already over, and I face into yet another week of spreadsheets.

Help me, Jeebus!

(Oh yeah, I saw the Simpsons movie this weekend, too. It started off strong and witty, but I thought the end was a bit hasty and unnecessarily saccharine. Please don't hate me, Matt Groening fans.)