Sunday, August 12, 2007

Look Who Decided to Rejoin the Party

I'm back, finally. I apologize for the delay, but while I was at the conference, I was told not-so-subtly that They (the almighty IT gods, I assume?) are monitoring you! and I couldn't come up with a reasonable correlation between running spreadsheets and Blogger, so I decided not to risk it until I was back at an un-work-affiliated computer. Because I'm chicken like that.

But the long and short of it is: My own special hell shall consist of nothing more than running copious amounts of spreadsheets THATAREDUEIN5MINUTESOHMYGOD!

ANDALSO.THEPRINTER.ISOUTOFINK!

True, I was staying at the Ritz. But I worked my ass off, and would silently scream at the carefree squeals of delight coming from the heated, fleur-de-lis-shaped pool, as I ran unending amounts of spreadsheets day in and day out. I worked into the wee hours of the night (morning) running and printing thousands of copies of reports that people may or may not end up needing the next day.

Well, it wasn't actually all reports and spreadsheets.

The nights alternated between straining my eyes until they were practically bleeding, staring at minuscule cells in Excel, and going out to five star meals with my boss' boss' BOSS, (which would have been a helpful title to have known BEFORE I went head-to-head with him on Jamo shots and proceeded to tell him he was my new BFF, even if his tie was ugly. ... True story.)

In between all this, I somehow discovered that my roommate moonlights as a psychic, that I am incompetent when it comes to changing cartridges on color ink jet printers, especially when under extreme pressure, and that the jewelry store in the adjacent Marriott was having a 50% off sale. Hello, cute new pearl earrings!

And to top things off, on the way home, I sat next to Mulan on the airplane. Or, at least, one of the many Mulans who walk around Disney World in very warm costumes and makeup all day. She was more chatty than I remembered from the movie. We are now MySpace buddies. Naturally.

The Funasaurus picked my surly, two-hour delayed ass up from the airport, and gave me lots of kisses despite aforementioned surliness. Tatum acted extremely pleased to see me, though that may be due to the fact that I bribed him with a mouse, and Sugar went out of her way to ignore me, not disguising her extreme unhappiness with the fact that I up and left her for a week with the boys. (Though I did find her wrapped around my head in the middle of the night, like the world's fuzziest, most-pissed off headband ever.)

And now the weekend's already over, and I face into yet another week of spreadsheets.

Help me, Jeebus!

(Oh yeah, I saw the Simpsons movie this weekend, too. It started off strong and witty, but I thought the end was a bit hasty and unnecessarily saccharine. Please don't hate me, Matt Groening fans.)

10 comments:

meno said...

Well welcome back. And i need to hear more about the ugly tie revelation.

hamiam said...

Yay- the Princess is back in the house :)

Christie said...

You have inspired me to tell my story about meeting the big boss at my husbands old company. They really should wear name tags or something, shouldn't they?

Glad you are back, baby!

M-M-M-Mishy said...

Dear god, I peed my pants when I read 50% off jewellery sale. I'm excitable like that. Too bad I'm at work right now. This is just embarrassing...

So is your new BFF also now a myspace buddy?

tara said...

LOVE the comment about the tie. I'm constantly sticking my foot in my mouth like that. Can't wait to meet you in person @ the wedding.

Ryan said...

Weird. I once sat next to Simba from the Lion King on a plane once. At least I thought I did. It turned out that I had gotten very drunk and kept asking a blond guy with a beard if Poomba is a jerk in real life.

Diane said...

I have the feeling you are a very fun drunk!

Diane said...

princess - stop by my blog and share your thoughts on Harry Potter!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Meno- I honestly don't even remember if it was ugly, that's the sad part!

Ham- In the hizz-ouse!

Christie- Big boss? Husband's company? DO TELL!

Mishy- I am exciteable, too, no worries. And no, BFF is about 40 years too old to be on MySpace. Fortunately for me.

Tara- It took me a second to realize that you were talking about Shooting Star's wedding, and not mine! And I couldn't, for the life of me, remember who I had invited to my wedding named Tara! But I am very excited to finally meet you in person, too. :-)

Ryan- At least you are insightful when drunk. And I would imagine Poomba can be quite an ass.

Diane- I stopped by, but I am not all that insightful. I like reading what other people have to say, though!

v said...

I guess I'm a little late to this party. But welcome back anyway!