Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Will Work for Pearl Neaklaces and Juicy Couture

I play a lot of solitaire these days. Solitaire games are kinda like pancakes. You really crave them at the beginning, but by the end you’re fucking sick of ‘em. (I can’t even take credit for that pancake line. It totally came from a comedian, or something. I just forget who. But credit to YOU, whomever you are.)

I also spend a lot of time daydreaming about the perfect job. I don’t know if it exists. (Though it would probably help if I look.)

I think I want to be an editor, someday. Preferably a developmental editor. I like the idea of making a story streamlined (ha, you say, HA, you parenthetical-happy-princess, you are SOOO not streamlined, but shut up, I say, I have a much easier time fixing other people’s writing.) and I tried it just a little bit in previous lifetimes, in classes and even work. So I’d like that.

I also think I’d like to be a flower delivery person. Because, as they say in that horribly awful but deliciously cheesy romantic comedy, Bed of Roses, “Inevitably, everyone’s always happily surprised to see you.” I like that. I like the idea of people always being happy to see me. I do not like the idea of driving a truck.

Moving on.

I think being an actress would be a lot of fun. Especially in Hollywood, when you make it big and you have a personal stylist and a driver. (See how I went from “dirty truck” to “chauffeur” in the span of a paragraph and a half? Because I’m all about moving up, like that.) I don’t really like the idea of waitress-ing to GET there, though.

Moving on.

I think handling acquisitions in a library would be fantastic. Picking the books that people will read, riding the wave of upcoming literature, advocating the First Amendment (freedom of speech), being sexy in the buttoned-up-blouse-and-cat-eyed-glasses kind of way. Of course, that requires a degree, so… not happening anytime soon.

And, of course, my dream dream dreamiest job would be to be a writer. Of fiction. You smarty-pants nonfiction readers can Frown Upon that all you want, but I love fiction. Those are the stories that inspire me most that I incorporate into my dreams. I like a good nonfiction book every now and then, too, but I do have a passion for fiction. And I’d like to write it.

Of course, that requires talent. Damn. But maybe I will find me some talent, somewhere, and start a book. In the meantime, I’m dying of curiosity. What are YOUR dream jobs? Astronaut? (I’m scared of the falling out of space in a burning pile of metal-thing, but I can see the allure) Massage therapist? Psychiatrist? Guinea pig wrangler?

Tell me so I can steal your idea and start a new career. mmuuwahh, dah-ling. Thanks!


Dantares said...

I spent two years working in my uni library. While it wasn't precisely in acquisitions, I would still say that as jobs go, I enjoyed it. Everyone else there was far smarter than I which ment the conversation was interesting.

librarian pirate said...

my dream job is being a librarian. Denver University has the program, and they JUST got accredited by the ALA (which is very very important). Aquisitions (or Collection Development) isn't always as much fun as it sounds, what with electronic resources taking up most of the CD librarian's time, but you sound like you'd be a freaking fantastic Reader's Advisor! It's only a 2 year degree - I know crazy people who got it done in 3 semesters ... I'll finish in 5. It isn't hard, and at the end - you get to be a librarian! And what better place to start a career as a writer than in a library?

v said...

I too dream of writing. But then reality stops by and reminds me I'm a very slow, awkward writer. Plus I'd also need that talent thing you speak of. However, I do have a bad memory, so I keep deluding myself.

Anyway, I want to say that you, P-Gal, are a wonderful, smart, funny writer and I bet you'd make a great fiction writer.