Finding a job hasn’t been so easy, after I got fired for being caught doing lines of an illegal white powder off the copier with my lesbian lover. Fortunately, the nightclub where she dances was willing to give me a gig for a while, and I get to keep all the tips I make. The Funasaurus is very supportive of this new career move, seeing as how I have to invest in a new wardrobe of lingerie. I’ve also started to smoke a new brand of cigarettes, the exotic euro cigs may be far worse for my lungs, but they smell oh-so-divine, and I swear my cough is sexier.
Meanwhile I continue to rack up credit card debt, and we may not be able to make our mortgage payment this month, but whatever because I’m the proud new owner of my own little motorcycle! Yee-haw! Can you imagine how much I’ll eventually save on gas? Plus, the club owner is teaching me to do wheelies.
So that’s all that’s new with me. Same ol’, same ol’, really.
***confidential to my loyal readers, most of whom are complete strangers that I have never met***
My brilliant little bro decided to tell my parents that I have a blog. I have decided to do a little experiment and see just how fast I can get disinherited.
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6 comments:
ROFLOL.......
You do know that parents can read disclaimers too, right? ;-)
My Dad's a social worker. The result of me posting something like that would be worse than disinheritance: a long "chat" followed by several months of supportive councilling, compulsary career-building workshops - and - even worse - the certain knowledge that he could sign the forms to have me mentally sectioned.
It's a bit worrying sometimes.
Dantares.
You made my afternoon! I really needed a laugh today.
You a funny gal. Regarding the package I was going to send ya, and some other fine folk out there... I got swamped. But please know that some anatomically correct gingerbread sugar cookies will be arriving at some point in 2007, just not before Xmas. And check out www.katedana.com. She's an old friend of mine from work - hilarious - and she's huuuuge into scooting. Though yours is a motorcycle, right? Or was that a joke? I took you seriously since some of my friends actually ride those. Ha!
Oh, thank you for that! I also hope your lesbian lover is underage! That would be the best.
Your brother did not think this through did he?
I remember when I found out that my parents - and in-laws - knew about my blog. Because I put the URL on my AIM profile, my brother saw it, and EMAILED IT EVERYWHERE. I about flipped out for a long time.
And now, I'm just like, hell, I didn't want to talk about my sex life any way. And I am more likely to get the presents I want because I put them on my blog. :)
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