Thursday, May 03, 2007

Snobby Princess

Last night The Funasaurus and I ordered Chinese. We got sesame chicken, because, well, what else do you get?

It arrived, and we set about opening our greasy white boxes with wire handles. (Seriously, does anyone actually USE those handles?) The lo mein looked perfect, the wantons were crispy. The sesame chicken was... not so sesame-y. It was a box of dry-ish looking fried chicken. We discovered the sauce and crispy noodles at the bottom, and set about mixing it all up. We got most of the chicken coated, but when we sat down to eat, we realized it just wasn't quite the same. Not bad, actually very tasty, but just different.

And then it hit us.

We knew what it tasted like.

Dark meat Chicken McNuggets.

The Atlantis of McDonalds, the lost paradise, never to be seen again in the name of “nutrition.”

Did no one else find that a bit oxymoronic? I do not think McDonalds should worry their pretty little felt redheads about nutrients and low-fat anything. That is not why they are beloved. They can add all the salads and hippie breakfasts they want, but I felt it was (ironically) a very dark day, the day they took the dark meat Chicken McNuggets away. Those were my favorite. I used to break my McNuggets apart, as a kid, and figure out which ones were dark meat and save them for last, because I loved them so. I could not believe someone somewhere in the McEmpire thought it would be a good idea to do away with them.

I even wrote a letter. (I did.) But somehow it did not have the sway I was hoping for. They have not returned. So I boycotted McDonalds for quite a long while. I used to go pretty regularly, even if it was just for a 6 piece Chicken McNugget, but NO MORE.

Well, until I got hungry one day, and decided my one-woman protest hardly seemed to be having the devastating impact I had planned on, and went for fries. Because, lord help me, but I do love me some McD's french fries. They are the best.

And I am something of a fry snob. I do not just like any fries. I think most fast food fries are a joke. But there is just something about the thought of fabulously greasy, un-food-like nature of McDonalds fries that makes my little heart skip with joy. (Or maybe it's a clogged artery. Whatever.)

And I came to THAT brilliant realization this morning because the talk radio station that The Funasaurus listens to in the morning was talking about how we are all snobs about something. And they were asking their listeners to call in with their snobberies. At first, I thought maybe mine was wine. But then I realized I'm something more of a wine whore. Not really so snobby at all. While I can appreciate an old Chateauneuf du Papes as well as the next sommelier, I also like me some cheap house pinot. I do not care, I just love fermented grapes. Any color, price, or age. It does not matter. (Except for white zin. Even I don't stoop that low.)

So it took me a minute to realize that my real snobbery is more along the lines of fries. I care very much about my fried potatoes, and hold enormously high standards. Only mass produced frozen deep fried ones will do.

I have also been known to turn up my nose at certain brands of American chocolate.

Perpetuating the conversation from the radio show that I don't really like, what are you snobby about? T.V.? Sports? Unicorns? Tell me.


Dantares said...

There is a reason Cadbury's Dairy Milk is Dairy Milk not Dairy Milk Chocolate. It's called Trading Standards.
I am the opposite. A wine snob and a chip....gigolo?

meno said...

There is this tavern near us that serves the best burgers, along with homemade, well tavern made, hand cut skin on french fries to die for. they recently went to mass-produced, reprocessed skinless fries purchased from somewhere in China. i am sad.

I am a snob about sushi. Which you can't be because you live in DENVER! Ha!

patches said...

Beer snob, which is odd since I hardly ever drink beer, or maybe it's why I hardly ever drink beer. I ate at a japanese steakhouse tonight. You share a table with seven or eight people you don't know. Everyone who was already seated had a bottle of the most over marketed light beer in the southeast. I lost my appetite and ordered water with a twist of lemon.

Also chocolate snob. Dark European chocolate rules.

v said...

I'm not really a snob about certain things because I'm educated on ----

Okay, let's try this again.

I'm not really snobbish, I'm just very passionate about certain things: film, tv, sports, etc.

And I say you continue your protest of McD's until they make their fries and mcnuggets trans fat free.

Do you look down on me because I like 3 Musketeers? Ha!

Mama P said...

I'm snobberish about clothes. I hate when women wear the wrong jeans. They don't have to be expensive, but if they were the kind that cut them off and they have all that hip fat hanging over the belt loops, I immediately think they are uneducated. A smart person, even a smart fat person, knows how to wear something that looks appropriate.

Mama P said...

Speaking of educated, I can't spell. I meant "wear", not "were" clothes. How's the job?

hamiam said...

LOL at Mama P....Because in everything BUT my blog (I barely have time to blog, let alone proof the damn thing) I am a grammar/spelling snob.

I am also a coffee snob. Folgers - blech!

I also am a clothing snob in the same sense that Mama P is. Doesn't have to be expensive, hell most of my clothes come from Target and Kohls - but....they fit! And, they aren't all the same size - yes, behold the wonder of thinking outside the size box!

M-M-M-Mishy said...

I'm snobby about Tim Horton's new doughnuts. They went from making all the doughnuts fresh in the stores to deep frying frozen dough. I don't even like them (working in a Tim's turned me off them) but every now and then I have to have one and it's never good. BLECH!

Diane said...

They just opened a new Chinese restaurant near my home, and was thrilled to find out the other night that their Orange Chicken is really, really good.

I love McD's sausage mcmuffin with egg, but I have to admit I have never eaten their Chicken McNuggets . . . I guess that is my snobbery?

Pauline said...

I'm a fish snob - if it's not lobster, shrimp, or scallops (in garlic and wine sauce) don't offer me any, thanks.