Snobby Princess

Last night The Funasaurus and I ordered Chinese. We got sesame chicken, because, well, what else do you get?

It arrived, and we set about opening our greasy white boxes with wire handles. (Seriously, does anyone actually USE those handles?) The lo mein looked perfect, the wantons were crispy. The sesame chicken was... not so sesame-y. It was a box of dry-ish looking fried chicken. We discovered the sauce and crispy noodles at the bottom, and set about mixing it all up. We got most of the chicken coated, but when we sat down to eat, we realized it just wasn't quite the same. Not bad, actually very tasty, but just different.

And then it hit us.

We knew what it tasted like.

Dark meat Chicken McNuggets.

The Atlantis of McDonalds, the lost paradise, never to be seen again in the name of “nutrition.”

Did no one else find that a bit oxymoronic? I do not think McDonalds should worry their pretty little felt redheads about nutrients and low-fat anything. That is not why they are beloved. They can add all the salads and hippie breakfasts they want, but I felt it was (ironically) a very dark day, the day they took the dark meat Chicken McNuggets away. Those were my favorite. I used to break my McNuggets apart, as a kid, and figure out which ones were dark meat and save them for last, because I loved them so. I could not believe someone somewhere in the McEmpire thought it would be a good idea to do away with them.

I even wrote a letter. (I did.) But somehow it did not have the sway I was hoping for. They have not returned. So I boycotted McDonalds for quite a long while. I used to go pretty regularly, even if it was just for a 6 piece Chicken McNugget, but NO MORE.

Well, until I got hungry one day, and decided my one-woman protest hardly seemed to be having the devastating impact I had planned on, and went for fries. Because, lord help me, but I do love me some McD's french fries. They are the best.

And I am something of a fry snob. I do not just like any fries. I think most fast food fries are a joke. But there is just something about the thought of fabulously greasy, un-food-like nature of McDonalds fries that makes my little heart skip with joy. (Or maybe it's a clogged artery. Whatever.)

And I came to THAT brilliant realization this morning because the talk radio station that The Funasaurus listens to in the morning was talking about how we are all snobs about something. And they were asking their listeners to call in with their snobberies. At first, I thought maybe mine was wine. But then I realized I'm something more of a wine whore. Not really so snobby at all. While I can appreciate an old Chateauneuf du Papes as well as the next sommelier, I also like me some cheap house pinot. I do not care, I just love fermented grapes. Any color, price, or age. It does not matter. (Except for white zin. Even I don't stoop that low.)

So it took me a minute to realize that my real snobbery is more along the lines of fries. I care very much about my fried potatoes, and hold enormously high standards. Only mass produced frozen deep fried ones will do.

I have also been known to turn up my nose at certain brands of American chocolate.

Perpetuating the conversation from the radio show that I don't really like, what are you snobby about? T.V.? Sports? Unicorns? Tell me.