Shouldn't a Princess Have a Limo with a Chauffeur?

Last night I went to a happy hour with a girlfriend from Sweden. (That bit of information, I realize, is not that important. But I just like typing Sweden. Try it. It's fun. ... Seriously. Sweden. SwedenSwedenSweden.)

So we got half price glasses of wine, and a small pizza appetizer, and began to talk about things like pedicures and boys and trips to Norway. Well, that kind of thing makes me so happy, naturally we went for glass #2. And I kept running to refill my meter. On my second trip to the meter, I noticed, “Woah, there's the wine!” as I barely avoided a head-on collision with a railing. So on my way back into the restaurant, I had a very stern talk with myself.

Me: You are going to have to drive. You cannot be drunk. You must stop drinking now.

Self: But... wine! Sweden! Norway.

Me: Yes, but a DUI probably does nothing for getting you to Norway faster.

Self: ... I don't see the connection.

Me: Naturally, you wouldn't. You are drunk.

Self: True. But., then, wouldn't you be drunk, too?

Me: Erm.

Self: Ah-hah! You DON'T see the connection, either, you drunken no-sense maker!

Me: I'm sure there's a connection, somehow! Drinking and driving are not good combination.

Self: I know. But let's just finish this nice little glass of chardonnay, and we'll order some water, o.k.?

Me: Well, that sounds like a good compromise. Maybe we could get a little calamari, too.

So I went back in, but actually did not finish the wine. I was really feeling it, and knew it would take a while to wear off. I have become something of a lightweight. That is not good for my street cred, but I was actually relieved when we realized that my friend had missed her bus because we had been chatting too long, and I was going to have to give her a ride home.

I hate having to be reasonable when I am having a good time. Especially when I am drinking. It is a huge, internal conflict of interest. The obvious solution is that I must build up my tolerance, again. It will take discipline and training, but I am ready.

I am also thinking I should look into the local bus system. I want to support public transportation, and maybe if I am drunk the ghetto route to my house will seem less sketchy. Of course, that will not help either me or my poor Swedish friend the next time we get to talking and BOTH of us miss the bus. Maybe that'll just be a sign to stay for some more calamari.