And so, when I realized that there has been a severe dearth of cupcakes in my life, recently, I busted out a box of red velvet cake mix last night, and went to town. I even had to go next door to borrow an egg, and call The Funasaurus on his was home from work to ask him to stop by the grocery store to pick up little cupcake paper liner thing-ies. When he got home, I poured the goey red goodness that is red velvet batter into the paper liners, popped them in the oven, and began to lick the spoon.
Something was wrong.
The batter did not taste good. Nor bad, per se, but it was not right.
I rinsed the bowl, and waited anxiously for the cupcakes to finish so that I could inflict one on The Funasaurus. (Who has an aversion to potential salmonella-inducing activities such as eating raw eggs in yummy yummy batter. I say “joykill” ...but I do intend to break him. Who doesn't love raw batter???) I pulled them out at just the right time, solid, but still very moist. I practically cried, they were so beautiful. Then I really did cry (almost) when The Funasaurus took a bite and was like, “Ew. There is definitely something off about these....”
“Do you think icing will help?” I asked, ever-hopeful.
“No, baby. They're definitively Not Good. At All,” he replied.
So my cupcakes, my darling, perfectly cooked, very moist red velvet cupcakes went in the trash.
*SOB*
However, my luck turned around when I went outside and discovered a slightly belated Christmas present from a French friend of mine. Who cares if it's almost March when the packaging says, “boutique Paris”!
And I opened it to find this.
The most amazing salad servers, EVER.
EVER, I tell you.
Get a better look.
Who doesn't want to eat salad when it's served by a dude in gold and yellow striped pants? And a chick with very round boobs?
I was, and am, overjoyed.
*Joy!*
You're a little jealous, aren't you? Well, come on over! Salad at my house! BYOChardonnay!
And thus was the bipolar two hours that was my Tuesday night.
4 comments:
I have a confession to make. I have never eaten red velvet cake or cup cakes. I have lead a deprived life. I shall have to remedy this soon.
Those salad tongs are most excellent. Bet she can't sleep on her stomach.
Even FUNNER? You and the Funasaurus could have played a smashing game...with the new fab salad spoons and cupcakes...you serve...he hits...they're outta there...up and over the kitchen counter....bonk! Right on Sugar's head!
I second Meno with the lack of red velvet cup cakes in my life. I will change that soon, though, as adore red.
Um. Y'all need to get to the store, stat, and buy y'selves some red velvet cake mix! My God, people, you have been missing out! It's chocolate, except pretty!
Traditionally... red velvet cake uses cream cheese frosting. Not being a fan of cream cheese frosting, I much prefer French vanilla. But the choice is yours. Either way, get thee some red velvet pronto!!!
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