Thursday, April 14, 2011

Where I Provide the W(h)ine

It's been kind of a shitty week, starting with a stomach virus that someone aptly named "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride Through My Digestive Track." Add the bonus element of a toddler who is going through a bit of a clingy phase and insists on sitting on your (my) lap at all times, including the toilet. That's fun.

(I re-read these sentences sometimes and have to wonder if I'm trying to drive away any remaining readership.)

Today I was finally feeling better, so I took Miss Thang for a walk. Halfway to the park, I bent to see if she was o.k., and my phone jumped JUMPED out of my fucking pocket and hopped like a cheap-ass Samsung Easter Bunny into a waste water drain. Naturally last night we had our annual April snowstorm, so the melt had raised the current in said drain, and my phone is so very, very gone.

I kept it together until I got home. Facebook should reunite me with most of the contacts I had in that phone. What is killing me is the loss of a couple of photos and videos. (Well, hundreds of photos and videos, but a few in particular.) I would describe them here, but it will only make me cry again, and I am out of ice cream.

Tangentially: Colorado now carries Blue Bell ice cream! Happily, my stomach has recovered enough from the flu that I ate a pint to assuage my heartache.

I am clearly in a foul mood, but I am sick of seeing that last post. So, here are some unrelated things to take up some space.

New verbiage in our house:

Torny: One part horny, one part tired, full-on feeling of torn-ness. Sadly, The Funasaurus and I often fall on different sides of the torny coin. But it's fun to talk about it in stupid married people code!

MOON! ELMO!: Brought to you by Miss Thang, talking about her favorite YouTube clip. Skip to 1:09. Now imagine me and Miss Thang getting our MOONELMO on.

Things I Do That I Did Not Think I Would Ever Do Pre-Daughter:

1) Share my ice cream

2) Inspect someone else's poop

3) MOONELMO dance sober

4) Fear six-year-old boys and their un-looking-where-they're-going ways

5) And, you know, let someone else wear the tiara around here


meno said...

Not the tiara! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Ramblin' Red said...

OMG - LOVE Torny. I know he is redneck and all that stupid stuff, but Jeff Foxworthy, years ago (circa my firstborn's entrance to the world...a decade ago???) had a joke about how when you have kids instead of having sex you sleep and hope you have a dream about sex....and it's pretty true in the early years, ack!

Sorry 'bout your phone - that would make me all sorts of madsad.

My little guy loves him some Elmo too - my others never really did the muppet love; instead they preferred to baby-crush on a hot little animated latina named Dora. I think I like Elmo better. Think.

LOVE the bluebell ice cream - only thing that tops (topped? as I think it is now defunct) it is Poudre Valley Dairy ice cream made right here in the fort.