Can You Put Kale in Jello Shots?

Things that have been going on:

1) Our vet told us to feed our cats more wet food. A lot more wet food. Apparently new research says that because it's closer to their natural food source (all relative, I suppose, since that meat-like mush doesn't really resemble any natural meat I've ever encountered, but I suppose more so than pellet-shaped kibble) it's better for their bodies. They're finding that this generation of cats is dying from/with completely dehydrated kidneys and livers, because apparently cats, being desert creatures, get most of their water from food-based substances as opposed to drinking fluids directly. So if you feed a cat kibble all the time, they don't necessarily compensate by drinking more water like a human or even dog would. I expressed concerns over Tatum's growing mid-section, and the vet assured me that cats are very self-regulating with wet food, it's miraculous almost, cats who need more nutrients eat more, cats who need to lose weight actually eat less.

So swung by PetSmart, sorry for the years of unintentional feline kidney neglect, and bought an obscene amount of high-end wet cat food.

Sugar, naturally, refuses to eat it. Give her Fancy Feast, or she shall starve herself.

Tatum, meanwhile, missed whatever self-regulation memo the vet was referring to, and has ballooned out to epic proportions. It would be funny if it wasn't quite so quick and swelling-y. I have to monitor him like crazy, because it took me a while to figure out Sugar wasn't eating her food because Tatum would inhale his, then mainline hers while I just thought everyone was eating a proper amount, tra-la, and why was Tatum so much fatter?

2) Miss Thang is awesome, and smart, and talkative, and already cornering me with her toddler logic, and that is kind of scary. So we are starting to discuss preschools, which leads to an even scarier issue of what the fuck shall I be when I grow up, for Martha Stewart-ing isn't really my gig. I love being at home with my kid, but just ask The Funasaurus about how many gourmet meals he gets a week (whereupon he shall laugh in your face) or stop by and see just how tidy our little home isn't. Stay-at-home mom = yes, housewife = no. Since one cannot be much of a stay-at-home mom if one sends one's Miss Thang to preschool, one might oughtta procure oneself a job.

3) I have been looking into the paleo diet a little. Not much, because I basically live off of cheese and carbs and sugar (and wine, which either is composed of or goes well with the aforementioned) and none of those are very paleo-approved. But this video

posted recently by an old bloggy-friend on Facebook, really got me reconsidering. My compromise is that I am trying to eat a LOT more leafy greens daily. This is hard, because besides some basic romaine and occaisonally spinach, I don't really like leafy greens. Kale and chard and blah de blah farmer's market stuff is too bitter for my taste. But I am trying. I try to dress it up with balsamic, which again, not so paleo, but it's going to be a slow transition, if at all. It's at least better than what my diet was, I figure.

That's about it. We are getting ready for the holidays. I am glad we don't have to travel. We are hosting our annual New Year's party, so if you're in town, looking for a party with awesome 90s hip-hop, please come by and check out my feeble attempts at something Martha Stewart-y in the form of fancy-schmancy jello shots.

Mwah, darlings.