This May Have Just Happened

I am tired and sitting at the computer when I should be asleep. But I don't want to go downstairs and deal with the dishes and cat litter and everything else that needs dealing with before I can sleep. I passively had the thought that I could eat something dessert-y as another means of procrastinating the bedtime routine, and then I thought about how tired I was, and how my skin is really breaking out and I thought, "You know, chocolate doesn't even SOUND good right now. Honestly what sounds better than any chocolate is a nice tall glass of water and a handful of raspberries. That would be so much more satisfying."

Then I realized some hippie demon must have taken over my brain and I dove headfirst into the bag of pastel-colored M&Ms that we are/were saving for Miss Thang's Easter basket.

Where I Provide the W(h)ine

It's been kind of a shitty week, starting with a stomach virus that someone aptly named "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride Through My Digestive Track." Add the bonus element of a toddler who is going through a bit of a clingy phase and insists on sitting on your (my) lap at all times, including the toilet. That's fun.

(I re-read these sentences sometimes and have to wonder if I'm trying to drive away any remaining readership.)

Today I was finally feeling better, so I took Miss Thang for a walk. Halfway to the park, I bent to see if she was o.k., and my phone jumped JUMPED out of my fucking pocket and hopped like a cheap-ass Samsung Easter Bunny into a waste water drain. Naturally last night we had our annual April snowstorm, so the melt had raised the current in said drain, and my phone is so very, very gone.

I kept it together until I got home. Facebook should reunite me with most of the contacts I had in that phone. What is killing me is the loss of a couple of photos and videos. (Well, hundreds of photos and videos, but a few in particular.) I would describe them here, but it will only make me cry again, and I am out of ice cream.

Tangentially: Colorado now carries Blue Bell ice cream! Happily, my stomach has recovered enough from the flu that I ate a pint to assuage my heartache.

I am clearly in a foul mood, but I am sick of seeing that last post. So, here are some unrelated things to take up some space.

New verbiage in our house:

Torny: One part horny, one part tired, full-on feeling of torn-ness. Sadly, The Funasaurus and I often fall on different sides of the torny coin. But it's fun to talk about it in stupid married people code!

MOON! ELMO!: Brought to you by Miss Thang, talking about her favorite YouTube clip. Skip to 1:09. Now imagine me and Miss Thang getting our MOONELMO on.

Things I Do That I Did Not Think I Would Ever Do Pre-Daughter:

1) Share my ice cream

2) Inspect someone else's poop

3) MOONELMO dance sober

4) Fear six-year-old boys and their un-looking-where-they're-going ways

5) And, you know, let someone else wear the tiara around here