Thursday, January 07, 2010

Where the Wind Takes Us

Hi. I know I keep disappearing. I don’t know what has happened to my life. Sometimes I look at it and think, Whose life IS that? Certainly it isn’t the one I planned on. By thirty I was going to be sipping Bordeaux daily on the balcony in my chalet in Switzerland, responding to fan mail about my most recent best-seller over Audrey Hepburn-esque sunglasses, listening to my little goat herd bleat below.

I realize that’s fairly specific. I’d certainly have settled for France or Norway or something. I’m not unreasonable.

sigh

To be honest... I’m actually digging the whole mom-thing, but I am almost scared to admit that for fear of jinxing the little glimmer of hope that has appeared in the back of my mind’s eye. Miss Thang sleeps through the night (ish [not counting the regular 3:45 AM feeding, but she does go right back to sleep]) and it’s amazing what a little sleep will do for all of us. She also is seeing the world much more clearly, and spends a lot of time looking around taking in the very interesting doorknobs and couch covers in our house instead of screaming. Which has done wonders for my nerves. She's also unearably cute and has cheeks that I fantasize about gnawing on.

I started back at work this week, and we did find a nanny. She’s kind and teaches piano so there’s some hope for Miss Thang’s musical development despite her parents’ complete and utter lack of ability or knowledge in anything musical-y at all. (Her father’s unnatural fondness for a capella does NOT count.) So the nanny is awesome, but I miss my baby terribly, which is silly because she is just downstairs and I find plenty of reasons to go peek on her throughout the day.

The next step is getting back into the rest of my life. I have yet to figure out how to get to book club when Miss Thang’s bedtime routine involves needing certain pieces of my anatomy to be present at home, and I am not yet sure there’s a reliable way to ski with an infant attached. I remain optimistic, for I am getting sleep.

4 comments:

Linds said...

We will miss you at book club this month but soon enough you will be able to a little more flexible (or you will be able to bring her along!).

Enjoy your time with her while she is so tiny and nom-nom-able... :)

Cate Subrosa said...

Glad you hear things are feeling more manageable now.

Pictures? :)

Holly said...

Nick said he saw someone at Copper skiing with a baby in a front-carrier, underneath their jacket. So, there you go!

Michele said...

I think your life sounds very cool just the way it is (especially now that sleep is involved). It must be kinda weird, though, having everything turned upside down so suddenly. Seems like you're on track to figuring it all out. Congrats on the new nanny!